How to Forgive Yourself: 4 Ways to Do It
We’ve all done something that we regret. Sometimes, these memories haunt us, tormenting our minds, and as a result, forgiving yourself is a hard thing to do. How do you forgive yourself when you don’t know how? If you find yourself in this place, this is a sign for you to forgive yourself.
How to Forgive Yourself
Learning how to forgive yourself is crucial to you and your general well-being. Choosing a life without forgiving yourself is a life full of regrets. Applying these tips can help you foster the forgiveness you have longed for.
Focus on your emotions.
One way to forgive yourself is to identify the emotion you have right now and focus on it. Accepting what has happened and showing compassion towards yourself are part of the process. Facing what you have done is the hardest step to take, but it is what you need.
If you have been avoiding your emotions, justifying your actions, and even rationalizing them, you will find it hard to forgive yourself in the end. So, identify these emotions, give yourself time to realize them, and take the first step to forgive yourself.
Separate your mistake from your identity.
Sometimes, beating yourself for something stupid that you did starts small. Over time, this guilt you feel becomes bigger and bigger until you blame yourself for everything else.
To forgive yourself is to acknowledge this guilt. Tell yourself that it has served its purpose, and this purpose will not torture you for the rest of your life.
Understand that your brain can easily be conditioned to think it is your fault. And when you entertain these thoughts, you become overwhelmed. Of course, we don’t want to make these mistakes again, and you haven’t, so these thoughts had served their purpose.
Rather than carrying this guilt with you, turn this into power. Remind yourself that you have learned your lesson and won’t do it again.
Ask for forgiveness, even if it is hard.
Asking for forgiveness is hard, no doubt. And sometimes, it takes years to do so. But as part of the healing process, asking forgiveness is essential if you wish to live a life of joy and peace.
Sometimes, the key to having peace of mind is asking forgiveness from those you have wronged. If you did something you feel is unforgivable, accept your mistakes and learn to forgive yourself.
However, some people will not forgive you for what you did to them. Even if you verbalize asking for forgiveness, they will turn you down. As hard as it is, you have to accept it! You did your part, but if they refuse to forgive you, you must accept that too.
People are entitled to their feelings. How they feel towards you or your mistakes is valid. Let them be.
Just remember that you have the right to stop torturing yourself for those mistakes. Your feelings are as valid as theirs. Repeating the guilt in your head and heart for the rest of your life is no longer necessary.
Accept the consequence of your actions.
A part of self-forgiveness is facing the outcome of your mistakes. However, the torment does not have to stay with you forever.
Did you learn from this mistake?
Did you grow as a person?
If you answered yes to these questions, it is time to forgive yourself. Once you have a clear image of the future you want for yourself, it is easier to let go of the guilt. It is easier to move onward.
Yes, these mistakes have consequences, and maybe you did suffer from them, but it’s been done. You don’t have to hold on to it forever. Find a way to accept these consequences and try your best to live with them without feeling guilty.
Learning how to forgive yourself takes practice. It is not always easy, especially if you know how you behaved in the past. But as time goes by, people change, and lessons are learned. Practicing kindness and grace towards yourself must be done every day. It is all part of the process.
Life is short to dwell on bad memories or feel guilty all the time. Learn to OWN your mistakes, accept the consequences of your actions, and take a step to move onward by forgiving yourself. You will be a lot happier!